It's not fair!

Now that's a statement I hear way too much! "It's not fair, she has more milk than me!" (a milliliter more, maybe). "It's not fair, you let her go to bed at 7h05 and when I was little I went to bed way earlier!" (yeah, like 7h00). "It's not fair, she got a pink straw again!" (note to self: never buy multi-colored straws again... single color only!) "It's not fair, nobody takes my ideas!" (Well honey, ketchup on ice cream is probably not that great you know...) "It's not fair, she got to watch TV all day" (yeah, and she had to carry the barf bucket around with her... how unfair!). I swear, one of these days I'll probably hear "It's not fair, her farts are louder than mine!" (Although, now that I write it, it sounds oddly familiar...)



By far the biggest source of disagreement is who goes first... for whatever! We have to carefully make them take turn for TV cartoon choice in the morning, who gets out of the bathtub first (and I am not even kidding!) and even who's turn it is to give the dog a treat. So the other day, they were playing something, or rather trying to play, since they couldn't agree on who would start first. Daddy to the rescue:
- (Paul) I'll think of a number in my head, between 1 and 10, and the one who picks the closest number will go first.
- (Emily) 5
- (Olivia) 3
- (Paul) It was 6, so Emily, you go first.
Somehow, this was still unsatisfactory for both parties (I know, go figure!), so the grown-ups made the decision to stay out of it. Let them deal with it. We expected more screaming and tears, but no... we were not prepared however for the level of manipulation we heard...
- (O) I know, I'll think of a number in my head, and if you guess it, you'll go first.
Still cannot believe that the older one fell for such an obvious devious trick, but she did...
- (E) 9!
- (O) No, it was 3, you lose!
- (E) No fair, instead, let's say a word and the first one who says it will go first. The word is me. ME!
- (O) Nooooo! Wasn't fair. Let's say that the second person who says the word will go first.
- (E) OK...
A bit of silence, where they both looked at each other. Until, with a soft (but oh so fake) innocent voice...
- (O) What is the word again?
Oh, she is good, she is so good. But Big Sister will not fall in that trap!
- (E) M-E
- (O) Emily! You know I can't spell! What is the word?
Sensing the trap closing in, but too proud to actually risk defeat, Big Sister capitulates
- (E) Not important. I'll be nice and let you start
- (O) What were we playing again?
So typical!